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Creativity – Empowerment – Transformation

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Daily Archives: 11th November 2019

painting of two angels, with gold and marbled pigment — Watercolors, ink, colour pencils, markers, gold pigment 7 by 11.5 inches November 2019 In 2019, I ordered marbling […]

Entanglement

Unicorn, lady, dream catcher — Watercolours, markers, colour pencil 11 x 16 inches November 2019 Commissioned as cover art for a New Age […]

Dream Catcher

Watercolours, ink, color pencils, markers 11 by 16 inches November 2019 In late 2019, there were a few […]

Ties That Bind

Watercolours, colour pencils, markers 12 by 16 inches November 2019 Angel Gateway was commissioned and painted for an […]

Angel Gateway

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"I feel like I'm coming down

(And I'm doing just fine)

These 2 planets return

Cards "Learn" and "Evolve" from the Self-Love Orac

Cards "Learn" and "Evolve" from the Self-Love Oracle were drawn for October 2021. The two go hand in hand.I read a lot as a kid and teen, disappearing into books constantly, sometimes finishing more than a book a day, raiding different libraries, exploring genres at a time. Yet it took me a long time to realise not everyone was like me, aware of places, people, and philosophies beyond the school curriculum and my social circles. In retrospect, this was probably the reason I came cross as unusual. I didn't always find it uncomfortable TBH, aside from "normal" being boring.No, what was painful was my knowledge and supposed lack of worldy experience being mocked and minimised by both adults and peers. I encountered people who thought I was making stuff up or imagining things whenever I knew anything they didn't. Sometimes citing my sources didn't make a difference. I was conditioned in a way to be very good in writing academic essays, as anything I wanted to do, I prepared a truckload of rationalisation--expecting resistance, shame and disagreement even so. The information I armed myself with didn't guarantee anything in my favor.
Learned helplessness and defensiveness was installed early in this manner.Today I put it together with this experience: that whenever I felt sick, weak or pained in my teens and 20s (endometriosis, suspected PCOS, constant allergies), I also had to prepare lengthy pleas or begging to be worthy of medical intervention and help, and even so I expected to hear that the illness was my fault, a blind spot in my self care. Self-love is hard to nurture, in the face of constant blame, judgment and deprivation.We need to recognise when the paths towards our healing and actualisation will take us AWAY from those who hurt or limited us, intentionally or not. Away from those who remain stuck and want others stuck too. Away from those who prioritise their being right over our being happy. "Evolve" remains one of my favorite cards because this lesson has been a long and personal one.Thanks for reading this.#selfloveoracle #selflove #selfcare #musing #healing #storytime #spirituality #oraclecards #cardofthemonth #oracledeck #newage

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