Giving Ourselves Permission to Start


Some of our important choice points in life will revolve around whether to pursue something big and new that we desire. We want the answer to be simple (“Let’s do it!”) but reality and responsibilities can be heavy sometimes. So we set the dreams aside. Sometimes this works. Other times, the desire becomes obsession.

This is the part I frequently come in with readings. When I can see that someone has a burning desire to do something big, exciting and new, I don’t even need astrology or Tarot. The energy of excitement is practically bursting forth from them, and I’m happy to use any medium to explore their “Should I?” question. 

Energy-wise, it’s a chance to help someone explore a new desire—a new path that’s calling. Our drives and interests guide us in our lifelong growth and development when we let ourselves pursue them, no matter how difficult the path. What isn’t often acknowledged by some well-intentioned people is how we grow from challenges. There are many who see the presence of challenges as signs to not pursue something. 

I now see this as childish thinking that only the easy and guaranteed in life should be pursued. That, somehow, keeping on this safe path is desirable because we’ll be protected from difficulty and disappointment. 

The only thing this continued self-blocking accomplishes is resentment, imbalance, and a lack of growth and direction. I see and have seen it manifest in ways the “blocker” stays in negativity and keeps looking for evidence to justify their self-blocking—worse, they may try very hard to dissuade others too. 

This isn’t about keeping people from dangerous and fatal actions, but discouraging them from pursuits that actually give them happiness and purpose—and ultimately, growth. 

self-love, self-empowerment, encouragement

Blocking can sound like:

  • That’s too difficult. You’ll never do it
  • That’s a waste of time
  • Don’t you have something better to do?
  • You’ll never be professional, so there’s no point

Familiar? Some of us may have heard them often, and the effects can run deep. So it’s a privilege for me to encourage others and help them explore their excitement and passions. I never jump to assumptions that a desire is unrealistic and not worth pursuing.

One can easily explore the subject with questions:

  • How have you pictured yourself starting?
  • How important is success on this path or is it something you want to enjoy casually?
  • Who might you need to know to help you?
  • What skills and resources do you have and might you still need?
  • Do you know other people who have been on this journey?

Such questions bring the awareness that whatever may look “too difficult” for some may actually be possible if the steps towards it are examined and understood. There is no harm in exploring a possibility with research and planning on paper, or in seeking expertise. The exercise can help someone understand the steps in a realistic way. They may adjust their expectations and plans accordingly while still allowing their energy of desire to flow.

Allow Autonomy

To decide for another person what they are capable of, and to keep forcing one’s personal limitations on them is repugnant to me in a way that words cannot capture.

Sure, reality checks are important, but some people mistake their personal phobias as reality for everyone.

And, to block ourselves from our unconditioned inclinations is to block our own energy, growth and purpose. Unfortunately, it’s a common learned behavior.

I see that most clients on the edge of a big “Should I?” question already know what they want. They’re often looking for confirmation. Someone to explore their fears with, along with their best case scenarios, both of which can be explored with cards or astrology. The tools simply start the conversation. 

The conversations bring up crucial information; they also allow energy to flow and exploration to happen. I want to help my clients remove self-defeating beliefs that may be blocking them from their purpose and meaningful happiness—which can be different from what family/society/advertising has told us we need to be happy.

Give yourself permission to start something you love. Not everything will be smooth, but it may be the way we find our healing and growth. The journey itself may be what we’re all here for.

(Image credit: Dương Nhân)

About Janet

Janet is the artist and creator behind the Self-Love Oracle. Drawing fantastical subjects since childhood and holding a B.A. in Journalism, she's worked in tourism and publishing, and is currently studying Counseling Psychology. After her experiences with motherhood, divorce, Tibetan Buddhism, healing, and the supernatural, she pushes others to heal through self-exploration and self-expression. She can be reached for her intuitive and creative services here.

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